Fanfic: Of Butterbeer, Beetles, Chocolate and Kisses [Harry Potter Book Series]

[dog_and_wolf]

 Title: Of Butterbeer, Beetles, Chocolate and Kisses
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius/Remus

~~~

"You have to tell him soon," James says as he swings his half empty or half full glass of butterbeer towards Remus. "He has to know."

Peter agrees with James if his lazy nod says something. Remus massages the bridge of his nose, an indication of an oncoming headache and annoyance as it seems the two aren't going to let go of this topic soon enough.

Remus now knows that he never should sleep without putting up silencing charms if he doesn't want anyone hearing his mumbled confessions.

"He doesn't have to know, Prongs." Remus says with a tone of exasperation in his voice. This conversation has been going on long enough, he thinks. When will they understand that he just will never tell Sirius anything?

"But he has to!" Argues Peter, "and anyway, why him? There are a lot of blokes out there." Peter says as he gulps down some of his butterbeer. "Didn't you think of the consequences, Moony?"

When will James and Peter get it? Of course he thinks of the consequences, the whole reason why he will never tell Sirius, not ever. Then he wonders if he should have just stayed at Hogwarts, and spent this nice afternoon reading a book curled up in an armchair and letting his mind drift a few ways towards Sirius then return to his book once more.

"Merlin, you could've chosen some Ravenclaw bloke. You could discuss the beauty of literature, or something. But you had to choose Padfoot, didn't you?" James says as he picks at his nails, huh, he should cut his nails soon. "Why Sirius, of all the people?"

Why Sirius, well, it could possibly be because he's just so charming, so smart and debonair, that he chooses his friends first before a girl, that he cares a lot about Remus. It might have something to do with the ways he just usually takes care of him after the full moon. Or how he always looks after his friends, and defend them when need be. No, because in truth, it was always that time in third year, the time of Sirius' utter innocence that he flew so high up in the sky that he got scolded, and when Remus asked him why he did such thing, he said it was because he wanted to curse the moon away, to stop Remus from hurting. Yes, it was always that.

Remus snaps out of his thoughts just as James snaps his fingers in front of his face. He shoves James' hand away and makes a motion to stand up. James grabs hold of his wrist before he could leave them. "Sit down Moony, let's talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about, James." Remus says angrily, but he sits down nonetheless. Because really, he had enough and the full moon is only a week away. And when he says your name like that, you can't help but feel like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Peter looks back and forth between the two teens nervously. He never likes it when they fight with each other. He quietly excuses himself to look for his girlfriend, Hannah. James and Remus distractedly nod their heads towards Peter as he walks away.

"Remus," James says with all the seriousness he can muster, because whenever he calls one of his friends by their real name, he always meant serious business. "Are you sure about your feelings?"

Remus glares at James; it's all he can do as he still wants to keep his façade of calmness. "Of course I'm bloody sure of my feelings."

Remus was quite uncomfortable as he sits here in Three Broomsticks with his best mate James. Of course, when Peter was there he was also a bit uncomfortable. He wishes again that he is sitting in the common room right now, spending this lovely day lazily. Of course, the day isn't really lovely with the very cold snow outside and the impending doom of a snowstorm.

"Hey Moony," says James as he waves his hand up and down in front of Remus' face. "Stop staring off into the distance and listen to me."

"And what, Prongs?" Remus whispers harshly, because he already wants to shout out in annoyance. "I don't want to talk about anything."

"No offence, but again, why Padfoot?" James says. "You could have chosen anyone but Padfoot. He's quite daft, if you ask me." He nods his head sagely, as if saying something oh so wise. But everyone knows that even with the occasional insults, he still loves his best friend, his brother in everything but blood, Sirius.

"So? I don't fancy anyone but Padfoot. And if he's so daft, why are you friends with him then?"

James brushes off the second comment. And he says, "But it's Sirius! The same Sirius Black who we call Padfoot who more or less is idolized by almost all the girls! The same Sirius Black we have slept in the same room with for almost five and a half years! The same Sirius Black who knows about your furry little problem."

Remus gives out an exasperated sigh. "Where is this going Prongs?"

"Everything might get awkward between us."

"And that's why I wanted to avoid this conversation in the first place," Remus throws his hands up in the air in frustration and lets them fall on the table with a soundly thud.

"You have to talk to someone about this." James says in desperation and grabs one of Remus' thin wrists.

"And you have been doing a good job at convincing me." Remus says under his breath.

"It might ruin our friendship, and I know we both wouldn't want that. Someone might get hurt, and I don't want that. For you or for Padfoot." James sounds so sincere that Remus' train of thought stops a little. Then James smiles that smile that convinces everyone he really cares a lot about his friends.

Remus continues on and says, "That's why we're not going to continue this discussion." He doesn't want to explain why he loves Sirius. Because the truth was, he doesn't only fancy Sirius, but he loves him already. He doesn't want to make things complicated. He stands up again, and this time, as James' hand is on his wrist, he pulls his arm away roughly to his side. "Good bye, Prongs." And he walks out of the pub.

Remus continues to walk towards the door, not hearing any of James' protests or completely ignoring them in all. Remus wants to say, sod it and just buggering leave me alone, but he decides against it as James is just trying to be a good friend after all.

He walks along the main street sulking a little. He hears the snow crunching a little under his feet and he looks down at his shoes with his hands in his pockets. Stupid and daft James and bloody Peter, but Remus knows they're just trying to be good friends and that they are just looking out for him. And Sirius. Damn it all, now he wants some chocolate and to sit down somewhere. Especially somewhere warm.

Remus bumps against a person and hands settle on his shoulders to hold him steady. He looks up towards the person to mumble a small sorry only to meet familiar gray eyes looking amusedly at him. "Hey Moony, better watch where you're going." And Sirius grins that grin that makes Remus' insides squirm and his stomach flip.

Remus wonders idly what he did today to have luck against him. First, Peter and James try to talk him into talking to them about his feelings then he suddenly bumps into Sirius, the main cause of his stress this day. He says obscenities under his breath about how unlucky he is and how he craved for some chocolate right now.

He hears Sirius chuckle and feels Sirius' chest vibrating with them still slightly pressed against each other. "You forget, Moony," Sirius says when he stops chuckling; "I have exceptional hearing. I am a dog, after all."

The tawny haired teen just notices how he is still is in Sirius' arms and he pulls away reluctantly from the slight warmth. He looks up at Sirius with the three inches of him, Sirius, being taller. "That you are, Padfoot." He rubs the back of his neck nervously and eyes the beetle crawling on the ground, mildly wondering if it would freeze in the cold weather.

"Hey," Sirius attempts to cut the silence, "how about we head towards the Three Broomsticks?"

Remus looks back towards the direction from where he came and grabs hold of Sirius' wrist heading towards Honeydukes, because he really, really needs some chocolate right now. "Er… let's head this way Sirius." He wants to avoid any confrontation with James and Peter as much as possible.

As they roam around Honeydukes, looking at the different kinds of sweets, Remus turns to Sirius and watches him looking at the various displays. Sirius picks an item, and returns it back to one of the shelves. He tucks a strand of his black hair behind his ear and turns towards Remus and gives Remus a lop-sided grin. Remus tentatively smiles back and reaches for some of his much needed chocolate. He heads for the counters and pays for his purchase. He turns around to beckon Sirius that he's ready to go, only to find Sirius is already behind him.

He smiles once more at Sirius and walk out of the shop, side by side with their shoulders bumping a little. They sit on a bench shaded by a roof and watch as the people hustle and bustle around Hogsmeade. Remus breaks his bar of chocolate in half and offers one to Sirius.

Remus nibbles on his chocolate and then attempts to break the silence. "So…"

"So," Sirius says in return and looks at Remus expectantly, the chocolate completely gone.

"Why aren't you with… Victoria?" Remus isn't sure if that is the name of Sirius' current girlfriend; though he is sure she's someone from Ravenclaw.

Sirius sighs heavily and looks at the sky, "I broke it off with her."

"Oh," it is all Remus could say. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really… It was a little bit… messy." Sirius makes a face scrunching his nose up a little. "She called me an 'arrogant bastard, a completely selfish and heartless git'."

"Obviously, she's wrong." Remus slightly rolls his eyes at the girl.

"I swear to god… If you're being sarcastic…"

"I'm not…" A small smile tugs at the sides of Remus' lips.

Sirius looks directly into his golden honey eyes and sighs once more. "Wanna know something, Remus?"

"Er… Sure."

"There's a reason why I broke it off." He pauses awhile before continuing on, "I think I was just using her… and… I had to stop, because it wasn't going to work out and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, you know?"

Remus nods though he really doesn't know. He doesn't know how he's using her, but Remus will still listen, because he's a good listener. And he doesn't want to fail Sirius if Sirius needs him to listen right now. "And?" He prompts Sirius to continue on, if Sirius wants to continue that is.

"And… I broke it off because I sorta…" Sirius mumbles something incoherently, and even if Remus leans in to hear, he only hears a string of sounds tied in a knot.

"Excuse me?" Remus asks with his head slightly tilting to the side.

"I think… No, I know I'm in love… in love with someone else that is." Sirius expects Remus to be shocked. It's one thing fancying someone, it's another to be actually in love with them.

"Oh," Remus swallows hard because of his dry throat. "It's not… Lily is it? James'll kill you, that is, after he tortures you and cuts your balls off." That's who Remus thinks of if he's so nervous about it.

"No! Merlin, no… She's a nice girl and all, but I wouldn't do that to Prongs. It's someone… completely different."

"Do I at least know her?"

"Yeah… and not her… but…" Sirius swallows and gulps, he looks nervously at Remus and sees a beetle crawling on the bench and wonders if it's the same beetle he saw awhile ago. "It's more of… a he." Sirius expects Remus to be shocked and to be appalled and to be disgusted but all Remus does is look expectantly at him, expecting him to continue on.

"So… do I know him?"

Sirius calms down a little but is still nervous, at least he knows Remus won't shun him. "You're okay with it? You're not disgusted or anything?"

"Padfoot… Sirius, did you really expect me to be disgusted," Remus pauses and finishes the rest of his chocolate, "you were still my friend after you found out I was a werewolf, and you and James and Peter even became Animagi for me. Of course I won't be disgusted. It would be very hypocritical of me if I were." He flicks his finger at the beetle that was crawling up his arm. "So, who is it that captured the heart of the ever famous Sirius Orion 'Padfoot' Black?"

Sirius swallows once more, and his gray eyes stare into Remus' golden eyes. He knows it is now or never, he knows he will be risking everything, but he also knows, he has to get this out. "I'm not really sure if I should tell him, I mean, this could complicate things… and I don't want that."

"Sirius, will you tell me who it is? Or will you just keep stalling and we'll have to play twenty questions?" Remus says, "Just tell me who he is already."

"Okay," Sirius inhales deeply and discreetly notices the beetle making its way up the bench once more, and discreetly kicks it to the side, "You."

Clearly, Remus thinks he misheard, he wonders if it has something to do with his lycanthropy, then dismisses the idea, remembering that he too has excellent hearing.

A silence drips between them and for a moment, they somehow cannot here the bustling people anymore, they only hear each other breathe, and with the risk of sounding cliché, it's as if they are the only ones around. A cocoon of nervousness and uncertainty and yet, there was determination as well is wrapped around the two of them. Then, Sirius places his hand on Remus' cheek and Sirius moves closer and Remus can feel Sirius' hot breath ghost over his cheeks, his whole body stiff with anticipation.

Remus welcomes the heat over his cold cheeks and Sirius' breath tickles his nose and it's all Remus can do not to giggle. Instead, he smiles. Remus smiles that smile, a lazy weekend morning smile, slow and secretive. Sirius can almost feel his heart swell and he smiles like that, too.

"Can I kiss you?" whispers Sirius though he hears his blood rushing and running and pumping loudly in his ears. His heart pounds nervously in his ribcage and he is sure his chest will burst open any minute.

"Okay," Remus whispers back. In truth, inside, he feels as giddy as a schoolgirl and he wants to giggle and squeal at the same time. He knows he will deny to himself he feels this way, but frankly, right now, he doesn't give a damn.

Sirius moves closer but if possible, and nothing is impossible for Sirius Orion Cygnus Aedelbert 'Padfoot' Black, their lips have yet to meet. Sirius strokes Remus' cheeks lightly with the pads of his fingers and it tickles Remus making him giggle. The sides of Sirius' cheeks are tempted to twitch upward, but this was a sweet and romantic and cliché moment, so Sirius just smiles a soft and warm smile.

Remus thinks he will die soon if Sirius doesn't do anything, he thinks he will kill Sirius too, and Remus thinks it's odd to think of that to the person you love. Remus decides, he'll make the first move and presses his lips against Sirius'. He brings his hand up to stroke Sirius' jaw with two of his fingers and he feels the other smile against his lips.

It is perfect. Two different boys with different backgrounds –Sirius coming from the House Of Black and being called the family shame, Remus a bibliophilic werewolf and the epitome of mysterious calm- pressed against each other, with their red cheeks and their hands softly stroking and touching. They aren't the wild and crazy Sirius Black and the calm and inquisitive Remus Lupin, they're just Remus and Sirius. Sirius and Remus. Two boys who are in love with each other.

They know that this is a rare event, that two different boys, that two people from the same house, that two best of friend falling in love each other is rare. But they also know, it's possible. They know there are risks, but as The Marauders and marauders of the night, they will risk everything and are willing to put everything back together again if everything breaks.

They break away from each other, and they smile a warm, and lazy weekend morning smile. A soft cough wakes them from their daydream, and they look up, to a smiling James and a blushing Peter.

"Will you guys promise not to shag or snog ever on my bed?" James says jokingly, but a friendly smile is on his face.

"I'm not one to make promises Prongs." Sirius grins up at his best friend, his brother in anything and everything but blood.

As if to demonstrate, Sirius moves Remus, and settles Remus onto his lap and proceeds to kiss his werewolf deeply, emitting an annoyed and affectionate squeak from Remus.

Peter pats James' shoulder with his gloved hand and looks up at smilingly James, "You owe me a galleon, Prongs."